How to give feedback so people hear you're trying to help
2018-08-09 00:00:00


WILLIAM BRANGHAM: Now for another installmentof our weekly series Brief But Spectacular.(1)
WILLIAM BRANGHAM:现在为我们的每周系列简短但壮观的另一部分。

It's where people tell us about their passions.(2)
这是人们告诉我们他们激情的地方。

Adam Grant is an organizational psychologistat Wharton Business School and an author most(3)
亚当格兰特是沃顿商学院的组织心理学家,也是最作家

recently of "Option B," which he co-wrotewith Facebook's Sheryl Sandberg.(4)
最近的“选项B”,他与Facebook的Sheryl Sandberg共同撰写。

In his new podcast, "WorkLife," grant goesinside some of the world's most unusual workplaces(5)
在他的新播客“WorkLife”中,授予了一些世界上最不寻常的工作场所

to discover the secret to better work.(6)
发现更好工作的秘诀。

ADAM GRANT, Psychologist: I read a study notlong ago which showed that highly creative(7)
ADAM GRANT,心理学家:我不久前读过一篇研究报告,该研究表明这种研究非常具有创造性

adults grew up in families where their parentsare argued more, not only argued more, but(8)
成年人在他们的父母争论更多的家庭中长大,不仅仅是争论更多,而且

argued in front of their children, which,as a dad, I just thought was something you're(9)
在他们的孩子面前争辩,作为一个父亲,我只是认为你是他们的东西

never supposed to do.(10)
从来不应该这样做。

And yet, the more I read about this research,the more I realized that if you never disagree(11)
然而,我对这项研究的了解越多,我就会意识到,如果你从不反对的话

in front of your kids, they think there'sone right answer to everything, whereas if(12)
在你的孩子面前,他们认为对所有事情都有一个正确的答案,而如果

they see you argue, they realize there mightbe multiple perspectives on a problem, and(13)
他们看到你争辩说,他们意识到问题可能存在多种观点,并且

they have to learn to think for themselves.(14)
他们必须学会自己思考。

It's not how often parents argue that affectskids' well-being.(15)
这并不是父母争辩影响孩子幸福的频率。

It's how constructively they argue.(16)
这是他们争论的建设性。

There are a few rules for good arguing thatI like to follow.(17)
我想遵循一些好的争论规则。

One is to argue like you're right, but listenlike you're wrong.(18)
一个是争辩说你是对的,但是听你说错了。

Instead of arguing to win, you can argue tolearn.(19)
你可以争辩学习,而不是争取胜利。

And then you have to acknowledge when youropponent has a made a good point.(20)
然后你必须承认你的对手什么时候有一个好点。

I think most of us are terrible at hearingcriticism.(21)
我想我们大多数人听到批评都很可怕。

Think about what happens to you physically.(22)
想想你身体发生了什么。

Your shoulders start to tense.(23)
你的肩膀开始紧张。

Your body tightens up.(24)
你的身体收紧了。

Your heart races.(25)
你的心脏比赛。

And you just feel like you're being physicallyattacked.(26)
而你只是觉得你受到了身体上的攻击。

There's an experiment I love about how togive criticism so that other people really(27)
有一个实验,我喜欢如何批评,以便其他人真正

hear it.(28)
听到。

And it only take about 19 words: I'm givingyou these comments because I have very high(29)
它只需要大约19个字:我给你这些评论,因为我的评价非常高

expectations of you, and I'm confident thatyou can reach them.(30)
对你的期望,我相信你能与他们联系。

It changes the conversation.(31)
它改变了对话。

Instead of saying, oh, no, this person isabout to attack me, the person receiving the(32)
而不是说,哦,不,这个人即将攻击我,接受这个人的人

feedback says, oh, this person is trying tohelp me.(33)
反馈说,哦,这个人正试图帮助我。

I have spent a lot of time working with SherylSandberg, the COO of Facebook, and have learned(34)
我花了很多时间与Facebook的首席运营官Sheryl Sandberg一起工作,并且已经学会了

a lot from watching her lead.(35)
看着她的领导很多。

One of the things that Sheryl Sandberg noticedwas that, as she climbed up the hierarchy(36)
Sheryl Sandberg注意到的一件事是,当她爬上层次结构时

in her career, people stopped giving her negativefeedback.(37)
在她的职业生涯中,人们不再给她负面的反馈。

Sheryl's obsessed with feedback.(38)
Sheryl痴迷于反馈。

In fact, she's been told that she asks fortoo much feedback as a point of feedback.(39)
事实上,她被告知她要求提供太多反馈作为反馈意见。

One of the things that I have watched herdo in meetings is, she will open a meeting(40)
我在会议上看到她所做的一件事是,她将开会

by giving herself negative feedback out loud,saying something like, I know I talk too much(41)
通过大声给出自己的负面反馈,说出类似的话,我知道我说得太多了

in meetings, and I'm trying to work on that.(42)
在会议上,我正在努力解决这个问题。

The other thing she often does is, she willopen a meeting and go through the agenda,(43)
她经常做的另一件事是,她将召开会议并审议议程,

and then go around the room and ask for everysingle person to give their viewpoint before(44)
然后绕过房间,要求每个人以前给出他们的观点

she shares hers, so that people aren't catering,you know, their opinion to what they think(45)
她与她分享,以便人们不会对他们的想法表达他们的意见

the boss wants to hear.(46)
老板想听。

When I was 26, I was barely out of grad school,and I got signed up to teach a half-day class(47)
当我26岁的时候,我几乎没有读完毕业学校,我报名参加了为期半天的课程

on motivation.(48)
关于动机。

And after I committed, I found out it wasgoing to be generals and colonels in the U.S.(49)
在我承诺之后,我发现它将成为美国的将军和上校

Air Force.(50)
空军。

I was half their age.(51)
我只有他们一半的年龄。

They looked like they were right out of themovie "Top Gun."(52)
他们看起来就像是电影“Top Gun”。

I walked in, and I felt like I have to establishmy credentials, why I was qualified to teach(53)
我走了进去,我觉得我必须建立我的证书,为什么我有资格教

the class.(54)
班上。

And I delivered the class.(55)
我上课了。

I could tell it wasn't going well.(56)
我可以说它不顺利。

And when I read the feedback forms afterwards,it was even worse than I had feared.(57)
当我之后阅读反馈表格时,它甚至比我担心的还要糟糕。

There was one guy who wrote that there wasmore knowledge in the audience than on the(58)
有一个人写道,观众的知识多于对观众的了解

podium.(59)
领奖台。

There was another who said, I gained nothingfrom the session, but I trust the instructor(60)
还有一个人说,我从会议中得不到什么,但我相信教练

gained useful insight.(61)
获得有用的见解。

It was like a dagger to the heart.(62)
这就像是心中的匕首。

And I wanted to quit.(63)
我想退出。

But I had already signed up to do a secondsession.(64)
但我已经报名参加了第二次会议。

I shifted my approach.(65)
我改变了方法。

And I walked in.(66)
然后我走了进去。

And I said, I know what you're all thinkingright now.(67)
我说,我知道你现在在想什么。

What can I possibly learn from a professorwho's 12 years old?(68)
我可以向12岁的教授学到什么?

Then I heard a colonel pipe up.(69)
然后我听到一个上校管道。

His code name was Hawk.(70)
他的代号是Hawk。

And he said, "No, no, that's way off.(71)
他说,“不,不,那是关闭的。

I'm pretty sure you're 13."(72)
我很确定你是13岁。“

And after that, I delivered basically a carboncopy of the same material from before, but(73)
之后,我基本上交付了以前相同材料的副本,但是

the feedback forms were night-and-day different.(74)
反馈表格日夜不同。

And I think what I learned from that was sometimesacknowledging our weaknesses, you know, sort(75)
而且我认为我从中学到的东西有时会承认我们的弱点,你知道,排序

of admitting our limitations can actuallymake us stronger.(76)
承认我们的局限性实际上可以使我们变得更强大。

My name is Adam Grant, and this is my BriefBut Spectacular take on feedback.(77)
我的名字是亚当格兰特,这是我的简短而壮观的反馈意见。

WILLIAM BRANGHAM: You can watch all our BriefBut Spectacular episodes on our Web site,(78)
WILLIAM BRANGHAM:您可以在我们的网站上观看我们所有简短但精彩的剧集,

PBS.org/NewsHour/Brief.(79)
PBS.org/NewsHour/Brief。


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